The Quiet Exhaustion of Playing Small (and Why Ambitious Women Are Ready for Change!)

Ten years ago, my life changed overnight.

My husband fell from a two-storey roof and was rushed to hospital. He was badly injured and unable to work — for three years. I had two young children at home, a household to keep running, and suddenly, I became the breadwinner.

There was no dramatic decision or grand plan.

There was simply a quiet, steady realisation:

I needed to make this work — and I needed to do it in a way that allowed me to be present for my family.

At the time, I was doing what many brilliant women do.
I was working hard. Really hard.

I was winning €4K clients, delivering great work, moving quickly from one project to the next — and then finding myself back in the same place again. Busy. Tired. Watching cash flow tighten just as I came up for air.

It looked like success from the outside.

Inside, it felt like running on a treadmill.

 

Playing small looks different to how it feels.

Playing small can look like:

• being fully booked
• delivering great results
• having clients who love you

 

But it feels like:

• constantly starting over
• needing the next win to feel secure
• never quite getting ahead

 

That period of my life forced me to see something I hadn’t seen before.

The thing holding my business back wasn’t the market.
It wasn’t the clients.
It wasn’t the economy.

It was me.

Not because I wasn’t capable — but because I was operating at a level I had already outgrown.

 

I remember Aodan Enright asking me this question – “What do you want your business to give you?” 

That really stuck with me, because before that I was giving the business everything!

That question put me on a path to design the business that was going to give me the lifestyle and career that I had only dreamed of.

Ambition isn’t about ego — it’s about impact

I’m lucky to have a great network of women in my business community.  Women I have great conversations with.  What I hear are many women struggling to say this out loud.  Yet they do want more.

They want:

• more meaningful work
• ideal clients you can truly serve
• income that gives you stability and choice

This ambition is often a sign that you care deeply about the impact you make.

Women who play small for too long don’t do it because they lack ambition.

They do it because they’re conscientious. Responsible. Service-oriented.

•  They know their work makes clients’ lives easier.
• They know they have something valuable to offer.
• And they don’t want to lose that integrity by becoming “salesy” or pushy.

So they stay where it’s familiar — even when it is no longer a fit for them.

At some point, playing small becomes expensive

There’s a moment — and it’s different for everyone — when playing small starts to cost you more than it protects you.

It costs:

• Energy – lots of it
• Head space
• Confidence
• Creativity
• Presence

 

You end up busy, but not fulfilled.
Successful, but stretched.
Capable, but constrained.

That’s when the question changes.

It’s no longer:
“Can I do more?”

It becomes:
“Why am I still operating at this level?”

That’s the moment I had — standing in a hospital corridor, realising I didn’t have the luxury of staying stuck in a model that relied on a constant push.

In the hospital I realised that the real shift is internal first.

Before strategy changes, mindset changes.

The most important realisation I made wasn’t tactical — it was internal.

I saw that growth wasn’t about hustling harder or chasing bigger logos.
It was about getting out of my own way.

About stopping myself from shrinking conversations.
About trusting the level of value I brought.
About allowing myself to operate where my work truly belonged.

The shift was from:

• “I need to prove myself”
  to
• “I need to be seen with clarity.”

From:

• “This feels risky”
  to
• “This is the level I’ve already grown into.”

You’re allowed to go big — especially if you care

If you’re reading this and something is stirring, know this:

You’re allowed to want:

• fewer, higher-value clients
• work that feels strategic, not transactional
• income that gives you breathing room

Not because you’re greedy.
Not because you’re chasing status.

But because the impact you want to make — on your clients, your family, your life — requires a different level of thinking.

You can only play small for so long before it stops fitting who you’re becoming.

Recognising that is a sign you’re ready for more.  😊

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What is next?

I’m launching a new sales programme for women who know they can’t play small anymore — women who want to win €40K corporate clients without hustling, feeling “pitchy”, or becoming someone they’re not.

It’s designed to help you understand what needs to shift internally and externally. This shift means you can be invited into higher-level corporate conversations and move forward with clarity and confidence.

Watch this space!